Sexy Sexy Harry and those other kids
by pigglywiggly
Summary: Well look who is back and as sexy as ever. Thats right, Harry Potter is going through changes no one seems to understand. And Ron's abuse is really only a cover for his feelings for Hermione....i think R&R hbp spoilers
1. The sexy begins

A/N: I gave up on my serious story, and now I need to relax and not be so dedicated

Harry went to the bathroom as the dark night surrounded him in a sexy way

Harry: (Peeing)

Hermione: Harry, is that you?

Harry: (still peeing) Oh hello Hermione, I'm just here, taking a sexy leak, in this sexy bathroom, I never realized how sexy I was until I looked into this sexy mirror and said "hey beautiful, your sexy"

Hermione: Well, I had a question for you Harry.

Harry: (still peeing) and don't you think I'm just too sexy for my shirt? I'm just so sexy, it hurts!

Hermione: HARRY, we're talking about me!

Harry: (Still peeing) But, but I'm sexy!

Hermione: I was just thinking, Harry, What are you going to do with all that ass, all that ass inside your jeans?

Harry: (Still peeing, can you believe it?) I was going to Flaunt it actually.

Hermione: Oh, well, can I, can I touch it?

Harry: (OMFG he is STILL peeing) That's what this sexy ass is for, sexy.

Hermione: Oh Harry, I didn't think you thought I was sexy!

Harry: (Ok he stopped, but his pants are still down) Sweetie, the more you talk, the less horny I become, less with the yappy more with the touchy.

Hermione: (places hand on ass) Wow, that's smooth, like a cow's nut sack.

Harry: (started peeing) Like a sexy co..

Ron: WHATS GOING ON?

Hermione: Oh, Ron I was

Ron: Not now woman (throws flaming baby at Hermione) Harry, I thought you were my best friend!

Harry: (carping) Your sexy best friend?

Ron: It isn't a time for stating the obvious Harry! YOU knew I was horny for Hermione.

And that she was horny for me!

Harry: (Taking a shower) THEN WHO'S HORNY FOR HARRY!

Hermione: (Getting up dizzily) Ron, you don't understand, we were jus..

Ron: (Snaps Hermy's neck) I said NOT NOW! Harry how could you?

Harry: (Peeing) Listen, I cannot help that. Its not my fault gave me and 16 pack, and kick ass check bones

Ron: I know, I know, but I mean (dawson's creek song starts) do you have to be, so dame sexy

_I don't wanna wait, for our lives to be over_

Harry: (dancing) Where is that music coming from?

Ron: I, I don't know

_La la la la la, something blah blah, whatevvvvvvvvvver_

Ron: (jumping into Harry's arms) HOLD ME HARRY

Hermione: Huh, whaa, someone hold me!

Ron: (Kicks Hermione in eyes) BE A MAN

Harry: (Peeing) I though you liked her?

Ron: Jus that thick, beautiful hair, it makes me wanna shake my laffy taffy, you know?

Harry: (Scratching nuts) no, I'm sorry, I don't speak Spanish

END OF CHAPTER UNO

More to come once I purchase more sour patch kids


	2. the sexy returns

A/N: Fabio...my reason to right

DISCLAMER: I don't own any of these people, and the song is all outkast's lyrics.

Harry woke up sexily and gave a sexy yawn as he walked god- like down the not

so sexy stairs, but with his sexiness, made them seem more sexy then they really were.

Harry: (Posing sexily) Morning everyone, aren't I sexy this morning?

Ron: Hey. I got a letter from Hornywarts

Hermione: (snicker) I think you mean Hogwarts, Ron.

Ron: (Punches Hermione in the Ovaries) DON"T CORRECT ME!

Harry: (whipping himself) Gees Ron, that wasn't very sexy of you

Hermione: (coughing up blood) RON!

Ron: HERMIONE!

Harry: HARRY!

Ron: HARRY!

Hermione: HERMIONE!

Harry: RON!

Ron: DOBBY!

Dobby: Please sir, no more molesting dobby sir, it kills him so.

Ron: (Pushes Dobby's head up his ass) I'm GENTLE!

Dobby: mmm phhh heryy mmmph

Harry: (rips open shirt, buttons fly everywhere) How SEXY of you!

Hermione: (chokes on flying button, dies)

Ron: (kicks Hermione)

Harry: DIEING MAKE HARRY NO HORNY! NO HORNY MAKE HARRY MAD!

So then Harry swung his un horny "goodies" at Ron and Ron cuts pieces of Hermione's

hair off and tapes them to his body like a human hairball.

HOURSE LATER

Harry: (Rubbing butter all over his body) How sexy am I?

Ron: YOU smell like used condoms and herpes.

Hermione: Huh? Where am I?

Ron: I though you were dead!

Hermione: No, I just passed out for a whi..

Ron: DON'T EVER DOUBT MY INSIGHT! (Takes Hermione's remaining hair and thrashes her into wall)

Harry: ME SO HORNY!

Ron: Hey Harry, let's go to SHOPPING!

Harry: HEY EVERYONE, COME AND SEE HOW GOOD I LOOK!

Ron: (Grabs Hermione's body, sticks hand up her bumbum, and wears her like a puppet) Come on guys!

_Everybody dance now, na na na na na na na na, EVRYBODY DANCE NOW_

Hermione puppet: (flops around dead-like)

Ron: Harry, look, isn't that Neville?

Harry: Ginny?

Ron: NO, I said NEVILLE

Harry: GINNY!

Ron: NEVILLE, N-E-V-I-L-L-E. You know, you man with two peni..

Harry: (running to Neville) GINNY!

Neville: GRAN SAID TOUCHING IS GOOD, TELLING IS BAD

Harry: GINNY I MISSED YOU!

Hermione Puppet: Ron, don't you think we should sort this out?

Ron: YOUR NOT THE BOSS OF ME (attacks his own hand)

Hermione Puppet: (wakes up) OI! RON, GET YUR HAND OUTTA MY BUM!

Ron: I have a better idea!

And then everyone danced the hustle.

THAT NIGHT

Harry: Ron, why am I so sexy (flips his hair)

Ron: That's like asking why babies cry when you hit them

Hermione: Ron, why do you hit me?

Ron: Because I hate you, and I want nothing more then to burn your rotting corpse

Hermione:...OOH, I thought it was, well, because you liked me

Ron: What are you, gay?

Hermione: So you don't like me?

Ron: Listen, Harry

Hermione: My name is Hermione

Ron: Whatever, listen, your putty ain't nothing I ain't tapped before, ok?

Hermione: Huh?

Ron: You're cows been milked

Hermione: What?

Ron: Your Bob's been Barkered? Your pen's been clicked? The moon had 3 ultra rays that equal the amount of linen on your clothes? Is any of this getting through to you?

Hermione: It's like your speaking another language...

Harry: He is saying your baby shooter has run out of orange

Hermione: WHAT? Can't you just explain it SIMPLY!

Harry: Well, I guess we can..

Ron: One two three uh!

Harry: My baby don't mess around because she loves me so

Hermione: huh?

Ron: And this I know for shooo.. uh, But does she really wanna but can't stand to see me walk out the dooor..

Hermione: What?

Harry: Don't try to fight the feelin' because the thought alone is killing me right nooww.. uh, thank god for mom and dad for sticking two together'cause we don't know hooowww... UH!

Harry and Ron:

Heeeyyy... Yaaaaaaa..  
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa..  
Heeeyyy... Yaaaaaaa..  
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa..  
Heeeyyy... Yaaaaaaa..  
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa..  
Heeeyyy... Yaaaaaaa..  
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa..

Hermione: OoO, now I get it, you only like my hair.

END OF CHAPTER DOS


	3. The sexy sexes'

A/N: Thanks to Aminta, this chapter is possible

DISCLAMER: I don't own Harry Potter, and if I did, I would have a lot of angry fans

It was another not so sexy day, in the life of Sexy sexy Harry Potter.

Snape: (scoff) Today (scoff) we will be are learning about (scoff) I hate my life (scoff) Sex

Education (scoff)

Harry: That doesn't sound so sexy

Ron: Sex education? When will we ever use that? That and math for that matter.

Hermione: Did you notice we don't even learn basic education in this school?

Ron: (Creates new ear piercing using paperclip for Hermione) STOP FINDING

LOOPHOLES!

Harry: Who wants to sexy my sexy's?

Ginny: OOO OOO ME!

Harry: You make my willy go boom boom, and my nipples do the chicken dance

Snape: (scoff) could you pre mature ejaculators shut up (scoff)! I'm trying to sulk about

Nothing (scoff)

Harry: YAY

Snape: (turns stereotypical black) (A/N, I used the word STERIOTYPICAL for a reason, I

Do not think all or probably any African Americans act this way, understood?) Now you

See (takes an apple off the table) this here be a woman bangaboozy. It be all nice and

sweet on da outside, yar heard, but on da inside (cuts open apple, worms spew out) IT'S

A SDARK PLACE, SOO DARK, SOOOOOO

DARK!

Harry, Hermione, Ginny, Ron: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

Snape: (fights off apple) Don't let it take me!

Hermione: _MY_ bangaboozy doesn't look like _that!_

Ron: SHOW OFF (lights Hermione on fire)

Hermione: AHHHHH AHHH AHHH SOMEONE HELP ME

Snape: (Covered in apple chunks) Ms Granger will you shut the bitchy hoes UP! You be

dierupenting my clhizzass!

(Hermione sits and smolders into a pile of balck ashes)

Ron: EEWWW I got Hermione ash on my shoe!

Ginny: You're not wearing any shoes, Ron.

Ron: HOW DID YOU KNOE THAT?

Harry: So what are you saying? I'm fat?

Ron: What? NONONO, I was say

Harry: I mean I try and try, and nothing is never good enough, is it? IS IT!

Ron: Yes, in fact I would enjoy a cup of tea.

Harry: (Grabs his ass) I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU

Hermione: I think I need to go to a hospital!

Ron: WHY IS EVERYTHING ALWAYS ABOUT YOU

Hermione: But, but, I'm DIEING!

Ron: WHAA WHAA WHAA, there are bigger problems! (Beats Hermione with a nail

Infested stick)

Harry: NO ONE LOVES HARRY!

Ron: That's not true! Everybo...where's Ginny?

Harry: Probably loving someone with no ass!

Hermione: Why isn't anyone helping me!

Draco: What have I missed?

Harry: Nothing, JUST ME AND MY FAT ARSE!

Draco: (grab's Harry's arse, inspects it) Yeah, that's fat alright.

Harry: SEEE!

Frodo: Has anyone seen my ring?

Hermione: We are in sort of a dilemma now...your feet, there gorgeous

Ron: MY FEET ARE BETTER

Frodo: Your balding, that's amazing

(slow motion running, Hermione into Frodo's arms)

Draco: Why are they running so slow?

Sam: It be the power of the ring

Ginny: Who are you?

Sam: Who AREN'T I?

Ginny: Well, you're not Harry...

Sam: Or AM I

Ginny: But you said...

Sam: EXACTLY

Harry:...

Ron:...

Ginny:...

Hermione: ((Smooch smooch Frodo))

Dumbledore: Hey, a PARTY!

Draco: Aren't you the man who..

Dumbledore: NOT IN PUBLIC

Harry: I'm a model you know what I mean, and I can do most anything on the catwalk,

Yeah on the catwalk

Voldermort: Well well well, if it isn't lightening bolt man!

(Kill bill music)

(Close up on Voldemort's eyes)

(Close up on Harry's eyes)

(Close up on Voldemort's eyes)

(Close up on Harry's eyes)

(Close up on Voldemort's eyes)

(Close up on Harry's eyes)

(Close up on Voldemort's eyes)

(Close up on Harry's eyes)

(3 hours later)

Voldemort: Can't blink...but so horny

Harry: HAHA, I'm ALWAYS horny

Frodo and Hermione make out some more

Ron: (Suave voice) So, Dumbledore, you come here often?

And then the great hit-on war began.


	4. Where has all the sexy gone?

A/N: for a sad day, I try to shine a little light and laughter

DISCLAMER: I don't own Harry Potter, but I do own chiclets, YAY CHICLETS

Dumbledore stood in his bootylicious office, with another "companion"

Dumbledore: (buttoning shirt) Ok Thomas, you can leave now.

Thomas: (nodding and crying)

Dumbledore: (putting away whip) Stop crying, suck it up!

Harry: (busting into office) WHY WASN'T THE BEGINNING ABOUT ME? I'm so

SE..Why is that boy naked?

Dumbledore: What boy?

Harry: (points to Thomas) that boy, the blond one, right there?

Dumbledore: I thought you were suppose to talk about how sexy you were?

Harry: I, uh, I HAVE SEXY NEW! (Pulls shirt and pants off) I'M SEXY!

Dumbledore: Harry, could you step inside my office for a minute...

Harry: We're in your office

Dumbledore: Wow, that was fast (closes door)

MEANWHILE

Ron: I wonder where Harry is...

Hermione: He went to dumbledo...

Ron: OH, I remember, he went to Dumbledore

Hermione: That's what I just said

Ron: (plunges syringe of sewage in Hermione) LIAR

Draco: Hey, what's going on?

Snape: (scoff)

Draco: FATHER?

Snape: (SCOFF)

Draco: DADDY, I've MISSED YOU!

Snape; (scoff scoffity SCOFFSCOFF)

(Dumbledore's door flies open)

Harry: (erect nipples going in all directions)

Ron: HARRY, we've been waiting for you.

Draco: I wasn't

Hermione: Harry, are you alright?

Harry: I've, I've

Hermione: What is it Harry, what's happened?

Ron: LET THE MAN INHALE! (Slaps Hermione with pimping cane)

Harry: so...much viagra...so so so much. (cries)

Ron: Harry, what happened?

Harry: Dumbledore, he, he molested me!

Ron: I, I'm sorry I don't understand.

Harry: I don't feel sexy anymore...

Ron: YOU KNOW I DON'T SPEAK CHINEASE, SPEAK ENGLISH MAN!

Harry: HE TOUCHED ME WHERE I DIDN'T WANT TO BE TOUCHED!

Ron: Ching fong fing? I DON'T UNDERSTAND

Neville: touching is good, telling is bad, touching is good, telling is bad, bad is touching,

good is bad telling touching telling bad good.

Hermione: We have to report this at once!

Ron: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! AVADA KEDAVRA!

Frodo: MY Precious!

Ron: AVADA KEDAVRA!

Golem: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Smeigal: SHHH quiet, they will here you

Ron: AVADA KEDAVRA!

Giant Spider: Hammer time

Hermione: Can't touch this, na na na na na na na na can't touch this

(Giant spider and Hermione break dance)

Voldemort: Ooooo Macarena, ei!

Harry: I'VE LOST MY SEXY

Voldemort: (dancing,) WITHOUT YOUR SEXY, I can DEFEAT YOU!

(Lord of the rings battle music)

_DOOO DODODO DODOD _

_DOOODODOODODODOOOOOOOOODODOOOOOOOOODOOOODODOOOOOO_

_OODODODOOOODODOOOOOOOOO_

Gandalf: I'm here, I'm here

Voldemort: MUHAHA...Who are you?

Dumbledore: GANDY!

Gandalf: DUMBLY!

(O.C. Theme)

_lal la la la la la la la lal la la laaaaaaaaaa CALIFORNIA_

Voldemort: DIE SEXY SEXY HARRY, WHO'S NOT SO SEXY ANY MORE, BUT

STILL HAS GREAT PECS, DIEEEEEEEEE!

Harry: IM TO SEXY TO DIE!

Ron: WAIT!

Voldemort: ...

Harry: ...

Ron: I hadn't said anything in a while

Voldemort: Yes, well anyway, DIEEEEEEE, AVADA KE...

Giant Spider: STOP EVERYTHING

Voldemort: (GASP)

Harry: (GASP)

Dumbledore: (GASP)

Gandalf: (GASP)

Ron: (GASP)

Giant Spider: (GASP) oh wait no I mean, I HAVE HERPES!

Ron: What does that have...

Giant Spider: Don't you see? I caught a disease, a disease that's pretty bad. And 'm a

Giant spider, I bet your wondering how I got herpes

(1 hour and 17 minutes later)

Giant Spider: And that's why you should study, Harry.

Hermione: Well, I though that was a good and thought filled story!

Ron: SHUT UP YOU KISS UP (nee's Hermione in the face)

Voldemort: Well I can't stay, kill you later Harry?

Harry: whatever

Voldemort: Ok what is it? What's wrong?

Harry: I still haven't got my sexy back!

Draco: Fat people don't get sexy back, you fat ass.

Harry: AVADA KEDAVRA!

Everyone else: OO Harry (chuckles)

-end of chapter fourrrro-

SUCCESS

Hope you laughed


	5. Sexy of all the sexys

A/N: new clothes, YAY, time to write, YAYYER

DISCLAMER: I don't own Harry Potter, YET

Harry: Hermione, is aids bad?

Hermione: Well Harry, it's a terrible, terrible thing to have.

Harry: Hermione, is aids sexy?

Hermione: Well, no, not ex

Ron: I HAVE NEWS EVERYONE (stabs Hermione in eyes) WE are going to be part of

a (doo do do doooooooo) SOAP OPERA!

Hermione: (clutches at bleeding eye) what? Why? When did we sign up for that?

Ron: (Rips earrings off Hermione) DON'T BE SUCH A BUZZ KILL!

Harry: I have sexy aids, sexy aids sexy aids, I have sexy aids, sexy sexy

sexxxxxxxxxxxy.

Dumbledore: Oh, right, right, I was meaning to tell you about that.

Ron: (gets mail) Hey look, here is a letter from Hagr...what's all this white stuff in the

Envelope?

Harry: White stuff? Sexy white stuff? Like, can I rub it all over my body sexy white

stuff?

Ron: I onno, it's making me dizzy.

Uncle Vernon: Well, well boys and girls, it looks like _you _just discovered ANTHRAX!

Harry: Is anthrax bad?

Uncle Vernon: Bad like you whore of a mother!

Harry: SHE WASN'T A WHORE!

Sirius: Shows what you know!

Harry: What sexy do you sexy mean by sexy that? Sexy

Sirius: It's time I told you Harry. (Shallow breathing) I (shallow breathing)

Ron: Why is he breathing like that?

Dumbledore: Who knows, hey Ronald, would you step into my office?

Sirius: Am (uses inhaler) your (sorta chocking) FATHER (cough cough cough, die)

Harry: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Your, your not SEXY!

Hermione: Harry, that's odd. You look incredibly like James.

Ron: (Peaks head out of Dumbledore's office) STOP CONFUSING HIM! (Beats

Hermione repetitively)

Ron: Ohh, Albus, that tickles!

Hermione: I, I think you killed the baby Ron.

Ron: BABY

Harry: BABY

Dumbledore: BABY

Ginny: BABY

Gandalf: BOOBY!

Ginny: Booby? Where did you get that?

Gandalf: WHOS TALKING TO YOU PESANT!

Ron: THAT'S MY SISTER

Gandalf:...so...

Ron: Well, she is.

Hermione: It's Frodo's.

Harry: Your baby is going to be hairy, hairy is not sexy.

Hermione: But, but that's your name.

Harry: NO it isn't

Hermione: yeah, yeah it is.

Harry: That's impossible, I'm sexy.

Voldemort: What are you going to name it, Hermione?

Hermione: Ron

Ron: What do you want, you baby maker?

Hermione: No, I'm going to name it Ron.

Ron: What are you going to name Ron?

Hermione: The baby

Ron: What baby?

Hermione: The baby, the one I got from Frodo

Ron: Ok, you lost me

Hermione: FRODO, he is the father oh my baby

Ron: I'm sorry, this isn't making any sense.

Hermione: Forget it.

Ron: Do you mind if I sing you a song, Hermione?

Hermione: Well, ok, I guess not.

Ron: I HATE _EVERYTHING_ ABOUT YOU

Hermione: OH, I know this song, how romantic Ron!

Ron: WHY, DON"T YOU DIEEEEEEEEE!

Hermione: Wait, what?

Ron: YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOO LUMPY (throws rusty nails and Hermione) , I,

WANT YOU DEAD NOW (kick ass guitar solo)

Hermione: (runs away, crying)

Ron: What got her reproductive organs in a knot?

Harry: Sexy says, you should be more sexy

Legolas: MY GOD, YOUR SEXY

Harry: Your, your _beautiful_

_It's getting hot in here, so hot, so take off all your clothes, I am getting so hot, I'm gonna _

_take my clothes off_

Harry: Finally, a song I understand

Legolas: That was amazing Harry

Neville: THAT'S IT, I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF

Harry: (pounds bedroom wall) WILL YOU KEEP IT DOWN IN THERE

Neville: THIS IS IT, I'M SERIOUS!

Sirius: Huh?

Neville: (jumps from owl house thingies)

Giant Spider: Well, that's a shame

Ginny: You're telling me

Giant spider: SHUT UP YOU OVER ACTOR (eats Ginny)

Ron: HEY

Giant Spider: WHAT

Ron: that's, uh, I know her, I , I know her

Giant Spider: Whatever queer

Harry: Wait, didn't I like Ginny?

Ron: (picks up HP6) That's what it says here

Harry: Really? REALLY?

Ron: Yeah, yeah, it's all here

Harry: She wasn't that sexy

Ron: whaddare you gunna do

Harry: What else does that book say?

Ron: Apparently, Dumbledore dies.

Dumbledore: HIII OOOO, didn't see _that_ coming.

Ron: Sirius should_ be_ dead.

Sirius: What! Let me see that (grabs book) Oh, yeah, right here. POP (disappears)

Harry: What else, what else?

Ron: _I _had a girlfriend, but she was a hooker, like your mom Harry.

Harry: GET BENT

Hermione: MORE MORE!

Ron: (Prepares to launch book at Hermione) O, o, wait , it says here I _like_ you. Well that

can't be right, now can it. Oh, and Draco chickens out of killing Dumbledore.

Draco: Then who kills Dumbledore?

Ron: I'M GETTING TO IT!

end of chapter 5

so...WHO'S DONE IT?

If you get it right, I'll put you in the next chapter! Just give me a name, any name to

place in the story. HIZzA


	6. After the sexy vacationwhich was sexy

A/N: Guess whose back and better than ever? No, not Justin timberlake! Oh, there is 'religious stuff mentioned, so if you can't handle religious jokes, do not read on. If you make a flame comment PURELY based on it, disregarded it will be. DEAL!

DISCLAMER: Own Harry Potter I do not.

Harry: (braiding chest hair) and that's why you should study, Aminta

Hermione: No, I'm Hermione.

Harry: That's what I said

Ron: (fondling chest braid) we should go to Hogsmeade!

Hermione: That sounds like a great idea!

Ron: (places Hermione's hand in shredder) STOP MAKING ME LOOK BAD

Harry: Let's take brooms!

_Wouldn't it be nice if we were older, than we wouldn't have to wait to long_

(flying scene)

Hermione: AHH, HELP! I CAN'T FLY!

Harry: I'm sorry, I'm sexy.

Hermione: SO??? HELP ME

Harry: No, you must have not heard me, I said I'm sexy.

Hermione: IM GOING TO DIE

Harry: S-E..

Hermione: (Falls to bloody death)

Harry: X-Y

Ron: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Harry: SSSSSSSSEEEEXXXXXXXXXXYYYYYYYYY

(landed)

Harry: Hey, there is not so sexy Hermione

Hermione: (mangled on floor) urggle blah

Ron: (kicks Hermione)

Harry: We should take her with us

Ron: OK, I'll get the duffle-bag.

Harry: Lets go into the Three Broomsticks

Gandalf: BOOBY

Ron: (dragging duffle-bag) I'd fancy a butterbeer

Harry: (mumble)gay

(enter the Three Broomsticks)

(music erupts) ROW ROW ROW THAT DAME BOAT, ROW IT ROW IT DOWN

THAT DAME STREAM, MERRILY, MERRILY, WHY WON'T YOU BE MERRY!

DREAMS ARE FOR THE WEAK. DADDY WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?!

Harry: I didn't know Seamus could sing

Ron: I didn't know he had issues with his mum

Harry: My nipples itch.

Hermione duffle-bag: Smoogle fig

Ron: HOW DARE YOU USE SUCH PROFANITIES! (Takes a leak on the duffle-bag)

Harry: You ever think there was more to life than being really, really, really, I mean like

really seriously dead ass sexy?

Ron: Did you ever think man porn is kind of hot?

Harry: What?

Ron: What?

Harry: Sexy?

Ron: Penis?

Hermione: Shmmomke?

Ron: WRONG ANSWER! (Spreads smallpox disease in bag)

Luna: Hi everybody!

Big Bird: Dammit woman, you're not even a REAL character, get the fuk outt herr, ya

fad ass

Luna: But, but, my name, IT'S LIKE THE MOON.

Harry: Yo vanilla, hit it up one time, boiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

_Ice ice baby, dannanfanndanna, ice ice baby_

Baby Prostitute: I'd hit that

Hermione: No like seriously, I'm fricken dieing over here.

Ron: Did you ever wonder why man por..

Harry: ENOUGH

James: Harry?

Harry: Uncle?...Sexy

James: No, no, it's father?

Harry: Mother?..Sexy

James: Father.

Harry: Ron?...Gay sexy

Ron: Harry?

James: FATHER

Harry: Naked?...masturbation

Dumbledore: Who said..?

James: FATHER!!!

Lily: Grandpa?

Bar Tender: So what'll it be?

Sam: What _won't _it be?

Ron: You're still here?

Sam: No

Ron: Yes

Hermione: I've given birth!!

Moses: And I parted the red sea, and led thousands of slaves to glory

Harry: And then what sexy?

Moses: Well, no, that's about it

Hermione: It's a beautiful baby boy!

Harry: Is god sexy?

Moses: Like a fox, I'd seriously tap that, but he's all 'I'm not looking for that right now'

Hermione: Someone take a picture!

Jesus: Why you always bringing my father into this?

Jacob: Get in the car, Jesus.

Jesus: YOU'RE NOT MY REAL FATHER!

Hermione: Ron, isn't he beaut..

Ron: OMG, NOBODY GAYS HERMIONE!

Hermione: Wait…what?

Ron: CARES, cares, nobody cares…

Hermione: You said..

Ron: WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD YET???(completes mummification process)

Jesus: And that's the way the cookie crumbles!

Harry: So are you like a ghost zombie thing, or what?


End file.
